Capricious Me » 2004 » May

The first time we spotted the clouds, we welcomed the rain it would bring. But days came and went and they stayed in the beautiful blue sky while the land grew dryer and we died slowly of thirst. But we hoped. We kept hoping, even as the earth turned a lovely yellow and brown and fire had to be watched carefully lest it spread too quickly.

The day the clouds went, hope and half of us died. Those of us who survived managed, somehow, to cling stubbornly to life. We dug wells until the ground was riddled with gaping holes. Dangerous holes.

The second time we spotted the clouds, we scoffed and loudly proclaimed it to be some god’s idea of a fun joke. But we looked when we thought no one else was looking, for a sign that rain would come. We dared to hope, secretly, that water would pour from the heavens to sooth our parched lives.

The day the clouds went, we shrugged and tried to continue living. Those who hoped more than others lost their will to live. Half of us perished. Those of us who survived knew the end was close.

The third time we spotted the clouds, we cursed the sky for teasing us so mercilessly. But secretly, we still hoped, even as we dried up. Even while we lay dying we stole glances at the sky. In our last seconds of conciousness, we thought in our delirium we could hear thunder. We thought we saw flashes in the dark gloomy skies. We thought we felt the cool wet rain falling on us. Filling our wells. Giving us a chance at life when it was too late. We thought we heard laughter.

The day the clouds went, no one was there to see them go.

As soon as he became human it was apparent he must escape. Immediately. Oh sure, the stories said Happily Ever After, but really, what is Happily Ever After except propaganda to make the readers forget that life went on after the supposed ending?

The princess who stood gawking at him wasn’t much of a prize. Sure, she was beautiful, but did that make up for the gaping holes in her education? Really, what self respecting princess played with a golden ball and bargained with a frog - and then tried to break the bargain, for the sake of a toy she could easily have replaced? And at her age, wouldn’t her time be better spent studying or preparing to run the bloody kingdom?

Her parents were clearly somewhat deranged as well. Honor or no honor, what father would force his daughter to tend to a frog, especially a talking one, without so much as a double take. Talking amphibians weren’t exactly commonplace. They’d clearly taught their spoiled daughter nothing of tact or table manners. Why, she repeatedly reached for the dish of frog, throwing him a glare now and then. And who would serve frog in front of frog? It was rude! If one was to be accepted as a guest at the table, one should not be subjected to possible cannibalism.

She protested and cried so bitterly against having to take him to her bed, and once there, had thrown him against the wall. Clearly, she needed to learn a few lessons about why it was wrong to treat animals so cruelly. Luckily for him, he’d regained his human body before he hit the wall, but even so, it smarted a bit. And now she stood staring. Granted, he was naked, but shouldn’t she have the decency to turn away, or at least blush a bit?

“If you don’t mind,” he mustered as much dignity as possible, wrapping a pink (a bright PINK monstrosity) silk sheet about himself, “I should like to speak to your father about returning to my kingdom.”

She still stared, dumb as a post.

“Erm. Your highness? Returning to my kingdom is a matter of national security. If I don’t return my father will start a few wars. He’s been looking for an excuse for ages, and now that his heir’s gone missing he’s surely started the planning already.”

“But… aren’t you going to propose?” She finally stammered.

An involuntary shudder escaped him, “PROPOSE?” he nearly shouted, “ahem. Why on earth would I propose? The terms of our agreement were that I’d return to the palace, eat with you, and sleep in your bed. I never mentioned a proposal.”

“But the last few frogs always proposed to me!” she whined.

“Yes, well, this former frog is not like other frogs. This former frog doesn’t really fancy women,” he turned red as he realized what’d he’d said upon seeing her startled reaction, “er. What I mean is, I’m not ready for a commitment yet. I’d much rather go hunting with my friends for a few more years without a woman back at home to nag me.”

“I wouldn’t nag,” she pouted, “and I don’t mind if you hunt.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t, but my life’s been complicated recently. And, so I’m not exactly ready to jump into a relationship just yet.”

“Oooh,” she seethed, “Men! You’re all the same! Bunch of bloody commitment phobic fuckwits.”

He raised an eyebrow at her language and decided tarnishing his character was much better than marriage to this idiot, “Well the truth is, I don’t really like women. Never have. My friends are the same way. If I were to get married, or even engaged, I’d never hear the end of it. Besides, I’m sure you’ll meet the right man… or frog, someday.”

She seemed appeased by that, “Hmm, I do seem to run into these enchanted frogs quite a lot. Well, I suppose when you put it like that it’s really not that bad. I’ll go talk to daddy right now and get you some clothes so you can go back home.”

It’s disgusting, really. see for yourself

and … quotes, taken from Andy’s xanga:
“We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. We weren’t punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers. We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That’s war. And this is war.”
–Ann Coulter, This is War column, Sept. 13, 2001

“I’m an old-fashioned woman. Men should take care of women, and if men were taking care of women (today) we wouldn’t have to vote.”
–State Sen. Kay O’Connor, Kansas Republican–September 28, 2001–Kansas City Star

So sad… that in this age of progress those with power more often than not choose instead to aid the human race in regressing.